I don’t know how I’m feeling. I don’t know how to describe the feeling or what it sort of feels like. All I know is that all I want to do is hide somewhere dark away from people so that they can’t hear me bawl my eyes out… and then when I finish bawling my eyes out I want to cut so deep that the blood with pour for a really long time that my whole mind and body will be focused on that that I won’t be worried about anything else.
I’m hungry but I have no energy or effort to eat. I’m tired but I don’t want to sleep for fear of nightmares.
I really need a big cuddle and someone to tell me that I’ll be okay, I’ll be fixed. But at the same time I don’t want someone to lie to me.
I wish my psychologist and pills had fixed me. I don’t want to feel broken. I don’t want to feel like a disappointment and yet that’s all I feel right now. No matter what anyone tells me, my own self-hatred stops me from feeling happy. :’(